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mr. monk, i mean, me, takes me medicine

I was sick last week and actually had to go home from work, which is something i RARELY do. I think I did it once before about a year ago…but my supervisor made me go home because i was dying in my cube not because I asked to go home. However, this time around, I have an exceptionally long shift and 1am just seemed to damn far for me to get some rest, so I went home and called out the next day.

I had a sore throat, my body was achy and i had this annoying cough. I look at my medicines.

I had tylenol fever for the sore throat but I had codeine for the cough [i had bronchitis over the summer] and there was also nyquil for the achy, stuffy head, so i can rest medicine..but not for the sore throat.

I stared at my medicines for awhile, because i don’t like ANY of my symptoms and didn’t want to deal with any of them…”well…i guess I can deal with a sore throat”. I am not having ANY of that shit.

So while one said, as long as i wasn’t taking any other medication with acetametaphin [i know i spelled that wrong] and another medication said “don’t be taking any MAOI inhibitor stuff” and another one said “don’t be pregnant”…well…that means, I can take all 3, right?


so i swallowed all of that shit.[this was tuesday night]

so, the next day, i go to work…feeling kinda floaty…not necessarily 100%, but not in such a state like i felt on monday and tuesday where I couldn’t get out of bed. so i go to work.

and like WOW, i was much more fucked up than i thought. I kept forgetting things, like how to get to work. I went to lunch with my supervisor and i had NO cash and when i went to the atm…i punch in my pin number…it says it’s wrong…i punch it in again…wrong again. WHAT THE FUCK?! Man,i was mad. I mean, i just took out cash like 3 days ago, what the fuck?! i need to fucking eat.

so my supervisor and i jet it over to my bank because i can still write myself a check. Yeah, stuck in traffic, going 0 mph. boy was i pissed. then we exit….and i can’t find my bank.

at this point, i am majorly confused…and we can’t really go around looking for it because we’re restricted to an hour [although my supervisor WAS with me, so it’s not like we’re going to get in trouble…but still]. Then i get back to work and call my bank and give them a piece of my mind. WHAT THE FUCK…why isn’t my pin number working? Did you change on me? did you send out new cards? bank says and the only thing they can offer is to send me my pin number AGAIN.


So i’m looking online and find i can go to stop and shop and write myself a check and get cash back.

Ok, i’ll go to the 24 hour one and do just that.

while i’m driving home…it finally occurs to me.

Yeah, I’ve been trying to use a pin number that was given to me A YEAR AGO…before I lost my card. And it has changed since then. I magically remember my ACTUAL pin number and not my old one.

go to the atm…and it works.

i tell my supervisor this the next day and he’s like “dude, next time, GET SOME REST. You were whacked out on drugs yesterday. I mean, you were energetic and cheerful but your eyes were crazy.”

so, the lesson?

don’t mix codeine, tylenol fever and nyquil all together…cause then you’ll start using your pin number from 2004 when you really need cash and then yell at the bank for you incompetency.


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DAMN….you wanna spend the…oh wait.

So i went drinking this past weekend because a friend of mine got open bar passes at a bar in boston. I got pretty trashed, which is great. Then we decided to head over a place called…whiskey’s, i think it was called?

yeah, i was squished with a load of people all around me. this guy, to the back of me, looks me up and down [as far you can look up and down when your hands are immobile due to the loads of sweaty drunk people…so it looked kind of funny…because what can he see?] and said “DAMN! hey, you wanna spend the night tonight with me? I’ll fit in you soooo good.” and I was like “sorry, my boyfriend wouldn’t approve” [as if i have one, i’m going to start telling people i’m married].


He made a 45 degree angle, in the same exact spot…tapped this other girl on the shoulder, looked her up and down [still squished mind you] and said “DAMN! Hey, you wanna spend the night with me? I’ll fit in with you sooooo good.”

I wonder if he practiced that line all night in the mirror. I wonder if he succeeded. I wonder if he knows that he shouldn’t recycle the same lines within the same spot or at least within earshot of the last girl you tried to pick up.


oh, and i have the flu now. yay for me.

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I am addicted to the lamest game ever. Free Cell.

I keep trying to beat my coworker’s record of 61 straight wins. The most I can get is 12 straight wins. Why do I even bother with this stupid game?

Is it sad that I have a soft spot for 70s soft rock? I’m listening to “I’d Love to See you tonight” by England Dan and John Ford Copley [some dude]. Who the HELL is England Dan anyway? Why do I like such pussy ass music? Why am I imagining myself running in the forest, laughing in the rain, with a paramour? The warm is wind and the stars are out.

Gah, I’ve been totally sucked in to those “walks by the beach” commercials where they show a bunch of soft rock in a scrolling manner and you see a silhouette of people walking. I HATE walking on the beach! I hate scrolling credits and yet, I like this stupid music…and i’m like “I NEED that compilation! AHHHH”

Has anyone read or seen that new Kurt Vonnegut book? It’s called “Man without a country”…i’ve been looking for it. Has Vonnegut lost his touch or is he just as snazzy as “Breakfast of Champions”

Do people read anymore?

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wow, today SUCKED

not only was it a rough day at work and any sort of ‘i’m going to quit smoking’ notions went out the window today..i did not get PAID! That screws you up royally, especially when you have your car insurance due and you were planning to get that shit in time.

especially, especially if you get your bills taken out on payday so you don’t suffer from money remorse [i want that shit out of there asap so i don’t even touch it or think of touching it]

man, thank GOD i only work monday through thursday…

in other news..i might be getting an ipod. i am currently doing a lifestyle change [yeah, lifestyle change, i don’t want to say ‘diet’] wherein every 5 pounds, i reward myself with something. well, i’ve lost 11 thus far [i started about 5 weeks ago…so don’t be thinking i lost it overnight or anything] and i was going to treat myself to a mac makeup spree. samantha was asking what my rewards were…and i said when i would get to 30 pounds lost, i would get an ipod for easier gym purposes.

keith happen to overhear me [he was doing some sort of test] and said ‘why don’t you just get the ipod now? i’m selling mine’. not sure how i feel about bowing down to steve jobs and his evil mac ways, however, i’m starting to fall in love with the ipod.

i’m giving it a test drive this week and will decide accordingly at the end of the week. i do like how it’s tiny and i must look cool sihouette style with the white ear buds [they’re called ear buds people, not earphones anymore. whatevs]. not sure how i feel about mp3 quality nor the expensive accessories nor that i don’t have a firewire connection or a usb 2.0 connection [geek talk here]. so i have to buy a firewire card, essentially.

ANYWAY, most of my friends [read coworkers] are ALL about ipods are strongly suggesting to get it rather than the mac makeup. granted, they’re all boys but maybe they are thinking of my scratched up cds.

oh yeah, i’m going to see the Dresden dolls on halloween. dude, i have NEVER been to a concert [excuse me, “show”] in Massachusetts yet. i’m curious about the music venue around here.

OH, and i’m seeing colin quinn at the comedy connection with my best friend. yeah, you know you guys are jealous.

i’m going to eat scallops now and watch xfiles. ahhhh…geekdom.

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da vinci code and movie talk

oh yeah, i forgot. finally finished The Da Vinci Code..which my sister and my friend Wilbur highly recommended [wilbur: “i canNOT believe you haven’t read it yet. it has your name all over it.”].

now i am sad. i read a few chapters every night [since each chapter is like a page long] and i had become buddies with robert langdon and his cryptographer lady-friend. sigh. damn you good books for ending on me.

anyway, so i decided to take a gander on the trailer…and HOLY SHIT. can we say DREAM CAST ?!?!

i’m super excited about the movie now. I mean, fucking ian mckellan is in it…and so is that guy from “the professional” [or the french guy in mission impossible 2] AND fucking Alfred Molina!! i love that guy [read: doc ock in spiderman 2, the love interest of frida koehlo [i sooo spelled that wrong] in Frida, William H. Macy’s boss in Magnolia] sigh. The lead parts are going to Tom Hanks [not sure how I feel about him as the lead character just yet] and Audrey Tautou–miss excellent woman in Amelie. She apparently beat out a bunch of other people in the auditions.

ANYWAY, it’s being directed by Ron Howard, whom, is rather talented, not one of my favorite directors but i know i’ll have a good time with him.

by the way…i saw flight plan. dude, i wanted to slit my wrists, i hated that movie. the pothead kid from Garden State was in it though, which was interesting.

somebody asked me how i keep remembering editors, producers, directors and actors and their work.

well…i don’t know. i pay attention to the credits people and i DID study film, y’know. and I DO have the longest shift to man. but also….what else do i have to do? I can’t remember authors for the life of me or the capital of cities or presidents.

we all have our weak points and strong points. mine is memorizing credits. could be worse, i could’ve memorized the elements of the periodic table

[ok, i did memorize the elements of the periodic table…but only up to Tin. I don’t remember what’s after that except for molybdum but that’s because i like the way it sounds]

Da Vinci Code! Finally!! a movie to look forward too

[i’m so buying angels and demons this weekend]

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what a strange weekend…

serenity, stitches and sushi…oh my. [my attempt at alliteration prevails again].


i got my new glasses as i have broken my other ones. i only tell you this because when you see my new glasses, i am going to look so smart and you are going to wish you were as smart as me. thank god for glasses.

afterwards, i went to see Serenity with brendan. I was sorta wary about it but since he was paying, how could i complain? i took him to this badass sushi place in andover which was introduced to me by my friend kevin. we dined, went to my place to drink some wine and then…we went to a theater that had some swine [aha! i rhymed!]. Serenity, i must say, was a lot better than i thought it would be. now, i’m quite curious about that firefly series. i know i planned to go with conlielpanic and chad…and i must say, i wouldn’t mind watching it again.

sidenote: what is up with joss whedon always having a mousy intelligent girl who has a crush on some unsuspecting guy? i mean, willow in buffy and that girl with the glasses in angel. we need to kill that storyline. i mean, yeah, mousy intelligent girls unite but still…he always likes the mousy girl [the mousy girl in serenity bugged me though and so did her love interest.

anyway, afterwards, we sneaked into watch flight plan and dude…one of the worst movies ever. i am SO glad i did not pay for that shiz. i was like, for the LOVE OF GOD, find the fucking kid, i am so about to kill jodie foster myself. yeah, yeah, yeah, she’s missing but man, why do i want to watch that?

after watching that movie, i felt dirty, so promptly afterwards i took brendan home, as i’m sure, he felt he had been raped by that movie…and without lubricant.

the strange part of the weekend comes in the next day…saturday.

risa is in baltimore so i pretty much had the house to myself. i’m pretty broke, so it’s not like i can go gallavanating or anything. brendan had wanted to hang out again [because, essentially, i am his only friend at this point]. he calls me up and says “hmmm. i could either go to the hospital or go drinking with you.”

me: “hospital? for what?”
him: “I cut my finger and it won’t stop bleeding. well, it’s stop bleeding but it was bleeding a lot. i think i cut it very deep. maybe i should just dip it in alcohol cause i really want to go drinking.”
me: “do you want me to take a look at it? i’ve gotten stitches before. i don’t want your thumb falling off or turning green because you decided to go drinking.”
him: “good idea.”

so i show up at his apartment and as i take off the bandage, i was half expecting a scratch…because boys are such pussies sometimes. “oh god, i nearly cut my finger off” and it’s a fucking paper cut. OR maybe it’s because i’m surrounded by a lot of guys who like to use hyperbole in their stories. either way, i expected something minor and we could go out drinking.

when i take of the bandage, it looks pretty deep. it looks like he needs to get some stitches or something. as i examined it, it started gushing again and brendan started to…not yelp but a sarcastic ow. i guess he was in pain? i say “i think we should go to the hospital”

so we head off to the hospital and the nurse looks at it and is like “yeah, you need stitches, you need to go to the emergency room” and brendan is saying “hmm…do you think we’ll still have time for drinking?” [the man is on a MISSION! DAMN!]. we go to the emergency room and while i’m reading about bragelina and lindsay lohan and trying to figure out if the red sox are going to the postseason [if indians win and red sox lose…if yankees win and indians wait…that’s the same as if indians win and red sox lose…goddammit], bredan comes out about 2 hours later with the biggest, gauziest, hitchhiking thumb i have ever seen. then i burst out laughing, because, it’s pretty funny.

that’s what you get with guys who try to cook.

regardless, we ended up drinking, i passed out on his couch and then i got a ticket for parking overnight EVEN THOUGH the parking meter said “sundays excluded.” I feel like i should fight the ticket but then again, i’m fucking lazy.

well, that was my weekend..AND i figured out how to get an internet connection in my apartment. TEAM AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!