Posted in Categorize Me!


So get this:

I started watching baseball in 1998. My friend Rex was a diehard Padres fan and I started going to games.

We went to the World Series that year. Albeit, we lost to the Yankees. But it was the Padres first appearance in the WS and we were stoked.

That year, we also had the Superbowl (Green Bay against…some brown team..I’m a green bay fan) in San Diego.

First time in history the world series and the superbowl were in the same town.

I also got to witness our football team, the Chargers, go to their Superbowl for the first time ever. another history making mark.

I then moved to New York.

When I was in New York
a. the yankees went to the world series every year.
b. we had a “subway series” mets v. yankees.
c. the new york teams went to both the superbowl (the giants versus the ravens) and the world series (yankees versus diamondbacks)
d. since 2000, though, the yankees have never won a world series. I have always rooted for the other team.

I moved back to California last year. This time, I did not get to witness either the superbowl or the world series in my town.

However, I went to florida for the first time ever and stayed there for vacation.

who went to the world series? Florida Marlins and NYY.

Now I live in Boston.

I have witnessed this:
a. the red sox are going to the world series
b. the patriots won the superbowl

so again, for the third time, I have witnessed the superbowl and the world series happening for the town’s teams.

another fact to check out:

I went to new york for vacation during the first 3 games of the playoffs. each game, we lost. when i came back, we started winning again.

my friend mike pointed this out and said “that’s IT! you’re fucking lucky. i’m chaining you to fenway park or something.”

my friend greg: “you can never leave boston you have any idea what you are witnessing? what kind of history you are going through?”

I sort of want to test out this theory and go to philly or something and see if means anything.

i think it’s a happy coincidence. i like to move. i like how people think i’m lucky.

but i also lived in new york when the sept 11 thing happened.

and that’s not lucky at all.

however, i am a little spoiled being able to witness these events.

but i do enjoy them.


Posted in Categorize Me!

the misery of the red sox

THE RED SOX ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! Just when I thought i was put out of my misery…they come back. Talk about dropping everything for national pasttime.

I love it. But I also hate it. But i love it more.

Will Schilling break my heart? Hmmm. If you’ve seen this guy, he is PHENOMENAL in the post season. but he is injured….

C’mon Red Sox. Make a California girl cry for a sport.

Posted in Categorize Me!

realize reality

i am sad.

well, i am slightly happy because the red sox fought a hard night tonight and eventually won the game after the bottom of the 14th inning.

regardless, i have a bunch of crap riding on my shoulders…

1. i might have to quit jiu jitsu which upsets me because i really like jiu jitsu…but i don’t think i can afford it.

2. i have applied to two different places for a second job. goodbye social life [even though i really didn’t have one] and goodbye weekends

3. i feel like i suck at my job. i’m a failure actually.

4. actually i feel like i’m a failure at everything…

5. i have gas right now.

6. this gas hurts my stomach.

7. boys. i am a failure with boys. boys get tired of me. i feel like all boys who may be interested in me either get bored or find out how much of a trainwreck i really am.

the thing is, the more intimate i am with a guy, the more i clam up and distrust. i wait for things to fall apart by the wayside…and of course, as a self fulfilling prophecy, that is exactly what happens.

i feel like boys settle for me. i don’t want to be settled for. i want to be swept away.

i want to be called attractive.

i want to be appreciated.

i want a boy to fight for me.

alas, no boy will fight for me because i’m so laid back. boys do try to appreciate me but i see these ugly couples who die and live for each other. i wonder if i ever will feel that.

i wonder if i will find a guy who will wake up and say “i cannot believe i’m waking up next to you. i cannot believe how lucky i am.”

i don’t think i’m just meant to be happy.

sometimes i wish i didn’t exist.

sometimes, i wish i can just let go.

sometimes i wish someone felt the same way for me the way i felt for them.

i need to stop wishing.
and realize reality.

oh, and i want to move out of the country and start over.

man, i’m in a bad mood.

Posted in Categorize Me!

about last night’s game

About last night’s game…

Me: I’m sorry that this prompted an email from me, but i had to know….


Why are you guys so bent on me loving the red sox (which, now I’m addicted to since September’s game where Mueller (sp?) hit the game winning homerun against the Yankees) if all i hear is “we have a curse” and “part of being a fan is getting your heart broken” I don’t know about you guys, but that is the most whacked out reasoning/logic/psychology i have ever heard of.

When i was in the west coast, my three favorite baseball teams were/are the padres, the diamondbacks (i primarily started watching them for steve finley who went from the padres to the diamondbacks…and now he’s with the dodgers) and the mets (sorry). Schilling and Randy Johnson on the diamondbacks were unbelievable.

Now, I have NEVER EVER EVER seen Schilling give up so many runs?

Tell me, is there any faith? Is there a chance for a happy ending? Should I even watch anymore?

I nearly cried last night and that’s way too emotional for ANY sort of sports activity. What have you guys done to me?

And lastly, is this part of the “Curse” I’ve heard over and over again?


I don’t necessarily believe in curses, but last night while watching Schilling throw one of the worst games of his career I have to admit that it did cross my mind. Why did Schilling go 21-6 through the regular season and somehow last night when it mattered most give up 6 runs in 3 innings…

Seems like a matter for Scully and Mulder…..


People…it’s game 1 of a LOOOOOOOONG 7-game series.

When does Schilling pitch next? Game 5? Let’s hold off on these emails until then.

Me:Okay, last question…promise. Who’s slated to pitch for the next couple of games?
Are we going to be swept?
Are we even going to make it to game 7?

I think the roster is as follows…i would just like to know…

game two: pedro ramirez
game three: bronson arroyo?
game four: derek lowe?
game five:…rotation starts again?

i hear a rumor on espn that schilling might not even come back and derek is taking his place. I don’t trust derek. he had the longest 2nd inning with the yankees the last time i saw him pitch. i’m just saying…

you can just reply to me instead of this email…thanks. 😦

Ryan:There will be no game 7, the Sox will win the next 4 in a row and win the series in Fenway on Sunday.

Vasquez/El Duque/Loiza

need I say more?!

Jeff:Good point Ryan….we CAN’T beat Mussina….period.

Mark:Who’s Pedro Ramirez? (see below) [or in this case…above]


There are two things you need to know about the Red Sox. And since you are
from Cali, three.

The First is just because they are latin, this doesn’t mean you can start saying
Ramiro Arroyo, or Manny Martinez play for our team. Tim McCarver Called
Bronson Arroyo “Brandon” Arroyo last night twice and had the nerve to actually
say “Stay tuned for Pedro Martinez vs Brandon Arroyo in Game 2.”

To that he gets a “Hey ducebag, buy a fucking program because I think it’s time
you either shut up or get AIDS and die” I hate Tim Mccarver. He’s a yankee
fan and knows for a fact its not even worth learning the names of the Red Sox
players because HE THINKS that they all have the same name. “loser”

On that note

The first REAL two things you have to know about the Red Sox are

1) We Hate the Yankees. We hate the Yankees not because of the reasons
everyone else hates them, but for better reasons. You are going to watch a
seven game series where that shitty ass squad of dipshits get the luckiest
breaks on earth, and then torch us with their talent. But wait, because they
are going to lose games to us as well, just to make sure we have glimpses of

In the last 7 game series the starter with the lower ERA always LOST. That’s
right. They lost. The better man never won the game. It’s unbelievable.
Nothing makes sense in Red Sox/Yankees series except the following two things.

We will lose when you think we are going to win. The Yankees will make it

Look at what we have

Pedro/Lieber — Lieber is a P.O.S. journeyman going against a guy who threw 95
mph last weekend for the first time in 3 years on 7 days rest. A guy who has
nothing to lose and everything to prove. A guy whose only goal is to shut down
the Bombers. Pedro was the goat last year, I think this year he should win.
The Red Sox should win.

Arroyo/Brown — Arroyo three hit the Angels and we won every start against the
Yankees when he was pitching. Brown punched a wall, lost to Arroyo twice, and
has had only ONE 1-2-3 inning in three starts and ONE strikeout. Brown’s
playing with a hurt back in Fenway. We should toast him.

Wakefield/El Duque — We’re fucked. This loss will hurt. This will be pure

Shilling-Lowe/Moose — In fenway, expect Shilling to make a similar start to
this one, except with more drugs in his foot. I think that Moose will toast us
again sending us back to the Bronx having to win two games.

Pedro/Lieber — Pedro’s turn to be the hero. We win a tough one.

Arroyo Game 7 in the Bronx — I don’t even need to tell you what is happening
in this game. You know the answer. Consider these facts.

A) The Yankees have never lost to the Red Sox
B) The Yankees have never lost back to back games at home in the postseason
C) The Yankees have never lost a game seven at home

Answer is — Yankees win.

Why this matters and why you should watch we turn to the second fact about the
Red Sox

2) Someday we will win. It’s been 87 years and something always goes wrong.
Shilling hurting himself right before the Yankees series? Come on. You could
never imagine a worse scenario. But the fact remains we have to win someday.

The team you are watching has one thing going for it. It has never won. That
means when it does win it is the jackpot of all World Series wins. It’s the
most amazing sports moment in history. I dare say it’s a bigger F’ing miracle
than the USA vs Russia on ice.

The Dream Team lost, The Russians lost, and someday the Yankees will lose to

But you have to be there and hope every minute of every game. Because we have
never done it, and our heart has been broken so many times. We aren’t the
Padres, a sorry ass no-history franchise that hopes someday to win maybe 85
games. (for the three fans who own season tickets) We aren’t the Diamondbacks,
who will win it once and then go in the tank. We are the goddamn Red Sox.

We are there every year and we die. The Yankees take out the stake and drive it
through our hearts.

Someday, we will beat them. But it is going to be hell. If you aren’t ready
to suffer, then go be a Padres fan again. No one will care if they win. NO
ONE. There isn’t any pressure and their isn’t any reward. Red Sox baseball
isn’t for the weak of spirit. We are the pressure cooker of the baseball
world. If you win here in Boston, we will name buildings, bridges, and
children after you. You will become a legend. You will be in the Hall of
Fame 100% chance. You’re name and memory will never die.

Name the cleanup hitter for the Padres in 86. Or last year. Or this year.
How about the Starting rotation? Or the top three starters?

The point of being a Red Sox fan in understanding that you hope for the
impossible, and you are going to be disappointed. But people care. The whole
freaking city cares. Shilling was practically crying in the dugout last

All I am saying is once you are a Red Sox fan for the rest of your life wherever
you travel you will be sucked back into it this time of year. You will start
to believe again. And until we win it, that’s our story.

Because the streak is this – We lose in the most heartbreaking way possible. We
aren’t BAD, we just lose.

Listen, this rivalry with the Yankees isn’t a real fight. If it was the Ref
would have called it by now.

But if we ever do win, you will never have a sweeter real sports excitement in
your life for the rest of your life. No sports game, sports moment, or general
achievement will ever compare to that first win of the Red Sox.

That’s why it’s the Holy Grail. That why we steel ourselves and watch.

But it can’t be sweet unless we suffer. And its 87 years of suffering.

87 years and 6 more games.

Nice job. Could not have explained it better if I had a month to try.

I have to say, Red Sox have won me over BIG TIME. I can’t believe I almost cried last night because of Schilling’s poor performance. Yes, to some people it’s just a game, but to me, the red sox in boston are not only a religion but a way of life and somehow I got sucked into the cult.

There’s something interesting about my time here thus far. You come into work or you go home, and people like AND will talk about sports with you. I never had that before and I think it’s awesome that people are passionate about the same thing as you are. There is a communal love and a spirit that goes with Boston that I very much respect.

I couldn’t understand the logic for awhile, because I never watched the American League until I moved here. And even more, I never thought I would be into baseball or a team for that matter, as I am today and the previous months.

When my I talk to my favorite person in the world about baseball, his eyes light up and he is very excited to tell me about pitches, strategery [that’s a real word now right?] and why Olerud wears a helmut on the outfield instead of a hat. I like that this is one of the things we share. Isn’t that corny?

So, with gritted teeth, I will listen to the bosox game on my radio as i drive to new york to meet my best friend. I will probably cry if the sox don’t get into the world series but it will be a good cry.

because in california, it’s like ‘oh well, we lost…let’s go surf.’

but in boston, it’s like ‘we lost. i can barely breathe.’ and if that’s not living, then i don’t know what is.

i am ready to die a little for this team.

damn you boston!!!