so here’s the deal.
have you ever felt unappreciated? have you ever felt that what you do or say has no significance?
sometimes i feel i am ignored and/or people don’t want to hear what i have to say. when i try to talk, i just kind of get looked over.
and people wonder why i’m loud–because i have to stand out to get any attention around here.
and today, i just got tired of people not listening to me and against my gregarious nature, i just had nothing to say.
‘oh, what’s wrong?’ –what, NOW you want to listen? when i don’t say anything?
‘oh, are you okay?’ –what, NOW you care?
it’s weird. when you scream, people tune you out, when you say nothing, people pay attention and at this point, i don’t want them to pay attention. i want to hide in the wall and disappear.
sometimes, just sometimes, i don’t feel appreciated at where i live. i don’t want to go into it now, but, who fucking cares if i live here or not? who cares what i get peeved about? who cares what happens to me when i’m not home? WHO FUCKING CARES?!
i’ve been thinking about moving out for awhile now….not that i’ve been accepting any offers or put any down payments or anything like that [i would give fair warning of course] but, i feel, sometimes, it really doesn’t matter anyway…right?
and i’m just using this as a place to vent, not to fix problems nor a place to call attention to ‘look at poor me. poor unappreciated me’
FUCK THAT SHIT. FUCK IT TO THE EAR.
okay, i’m done now.
i did have a good talk with kevin and he made me feel important.
doesn’t mean it’s true though.