I got my Rushmore DVD back (the Criterion Collection thank you very much). I watched it again which reunited my love for Bill Murray.
Bill Murray Story Number 1:
My friend Billy went into the elevator at school (college). He sees a tall guy standing next to him. He turns.
It is Bill Murray.
Billy, ecstatic and hardly shy, says to Bill Murray “Oh, my god you’re Bill Murray!”
Bill Murray smiles, grabs Billy and gives him a noogie on his head and says “And nobody is ever going to believe you”
Bill Murray Story Number 2.
In college, we have this thing called “Director’s Series” where the director and sometimes actors, show their films to film/acting students (or anyone at our school who gets tickets early enough) RIGHT before it is released to the public.
Well, Rushmore was going to be released and Wes Anderson and some other people (Bill Murray included) were on the panel.
After the movie, students get chances to ask questions for the Q&A session (duh, that’s why it’s called a Q&A session) and this one kid raises his hand and says “I have a question for Bill Murray”
Bill Murray says “Yes?”
Kid says “You once said that if anybody didn’t like the movie “The Man Who Knew Too Little” that you would give them their money back. I saw that movie and I didn’t like it”
Bill Murray says “Kid, come up here”
(People are looking at each other, Kid is in trouble with Bill Murray…ooooohhhh)
The kid runs up to Bill Murray.
Bill Murray hands him a 20 dollar bill and says
“Now, you can go and see Rushmore TWICE”
Round of applause for Bill Murray (I was not at this Rushmore screening, but rumour has it, Kerbang might’ve been there but I don’t know. It might’ve been a different Kerbang (heh heh heh)
*
I went to my oldest best friends house for the past two days (Oldest meaning I’ve known her forever…we’re celebrating our silver anniversary of 25 years) and she wanted to see some of my “film work” crap which she hasn’t really seen.
Terrible mistake.
My stuff is soooo terrible that I can hardly believe that people could stand to watch it in our screening classes. I guess, this is because I am couple of years older and I know better but Man, oh, Man watching your rookie mistakes can be bit painful.
Anyway, the point of the matter is that I watched a lot of my old college friends and it just made me miss them like crazy. where the hell are they? what are they doing? And MAN, they were hot.
I never notice when I’m friends with hot guys.
However, a lot of my girlfriends are like, “damn, how do you have so many hot guy friends? Are you going to hook me up?”
Here’s a hint to some of you girls: Don’t tell me that because I will just tell the guy. Usually, (especially if I am friends with them) the guy is taken aback and they say either:
a) I’m hot?
b) Yeah, I know. Who is this woman and should I hook up with her?
And, further, girls, if I do not think you guys will make a good match, I will say “Nah, man. She’s got this thing that would annoy you.”
Unfortunately, especially if the girl has a huge crush on one of my guy friends, she will incessantly ask “oh, did he ask about me? what does he read? what kind of car does he drive? when’s his birthday?” Etc etc. It gets sort of annoying because I am not a People Magazine or a reasonable facsimile thereof.
I like it when my guy friends have girlfriends then i can easily say “Dude’s taken, dude”
What’s even difficult about having hot guy friends is that if HE’S single and YOU’RE single (or I mean, me) people automatically ask “Why the FUCK aren’t you two together?”
And the only answer I can give is “It just doesn’t work that way.”
But, usually people don’t take that answer. It’s like, single person and single person…they get along, they have fun…perfect match right? Sigh.
I have to field these questions incessantly. After having mastered this sometime-annoyance, I have the recorded answers for their satisfaction:
1. He’s like a big brother (Most of the time, this isn’t true but people seem to accept this answer readily)
2. He’s still mourning over his ex-girlfriend (I say this even if they don’t have an ex-girlfriend)
3. He has a small package. I need to be satisfied in the bedroom too.
4. He has this weird growth on his leg that annoys me.
5. He’s not __(fill in blank…like creative, funny, smart…etc) enough.
Of course, hardly any of the above is true but it just lessens the chance of interrogation.
REAL REASONS I DO NOT ALWAYS HOOK UP WITH GUY FRIENDS:
1. Sometimes you just have great friend chemistry. Granted, I will admit, I’m sure the idea of a relationship has probably entered either or both parties but if you wait long enough, you know that you would not make a great boyfriend/girlfriend for obvious reasons.
2. Sometimes it’s just great to have a guy to talk about all the other asshole guys. Why throw away a decent guy and have him be the one you talk about to another decent guy? (Does that make sense?)
3. Sometimes the package IS too small (hee hee hee. I’m kidding. Although, I will tell you this, if you ask the guy honestly, they will tell you. As long you don’t go blabbing to the world )
4. (and this is probably the biggest reason) You see the girls that your hot guy friend dates and You (meaning ME) realize that you will never compare to these hot girls that this hot guy dates so why constantly compare and feel insecure?
So basically, the number one reason (although I numbered it number four) that I really don’t hook up with my platonic guy friends is very simple: INSECURITY.
Why have that insecurity rise when you have a very secure friendship to begin with?
P.S. It is also helpful to have a hot guy friend to take to parties. Although, I told my last hot guy friend (wilbur) to wear a tight shirt and he refused. DAMNIT! But then again, he said it would make him look gay and that wouldn’t look good on my part.
I’m very hot. (temperature wise. It’s like a million degrees in here)
bill murray
Minimal Effort 