I had lunch with Wilbur today because I was freaking out about a guy not calling me. I could not believe how childish and young I felt again because of not receivng a phone call.
Guys can drive you crazy sometimes. The secret is to be cool and casual about things. However, your friends will suffer the brunt of your coolness and casualness..as in they will suffer the insanity and hyperactivity that you need to get out of your system so you may be casual and cool in front of the appropriate party.
Anyway, so I had lunch with Wilbur because I needed a guy’s opinion on the computer guy situation. Long story short: computer guy called me on tuesday and said he would call on thursday. Thursday comes and goes…then Friday…then Saturday…and then Sunday– the day of the supposed date. Was I just blown off?
What I DIDN’T get is that I can usually read the signs of being blown off– because I do it too. I say “I’ll talk to you later” which is bullshit because I have no intention to but I think it’s a softer blow than “I will call you” — I suppose I’m using semantics because “talk to you” doesn’t necessarily mean talk to you over the phone or in the near future…just later…in (in my head) another dimension maybe. Maybe I talked to you later in my head. Whatever, I did it, but it doesn’t mean you will get the pleasure of actually hearing my voice.
Speaking of voices, I hate my voice. I sound like a man I think.
Okay, back to the subject matter. I have gotten advice from sides of the story. Girls are saying Don’t call him! Let him learn his lesson! Don’t give him the power! Guys…are saying nothing. Okay, that’s because none of them called me back (bastards) I called several of my guy friends over the weekend–granted, I figure, it’s Saturday, they’re all doing crap so I didn’t really take it to heart.
I did get a hold of my friend Tyler (who I saw the Italian Job with) who said “You know, it’s probably nothing” –Guys, so calm and casual. But I KNOW that is so untrue “Sharon, why hasn’t she called?” Don’t even try to bullshit with me. I’ve heard the whining as well. It’s just always different if you are outside of the situation.
Well, Wilbur said “Well, why haven’t you called him yet? I bet you is some sort of miscommunciation. I mean it’s happened to us” Wilbur is referring that when we make plans he thinks that I’m supposed to call him and I think he’s supposed to call me (he REALLY is supposed to call me) and what will happen, somebody will break down (usually him) and say “Dude, why haven’t you called?” and then the situation is straightened away.
So Wilbur says “why don’t you call him?” and I said “Won’t that make it seem like I’m needy or desperate or something?” (I got this idea from my girlfriends) and Wilbur said “Hells no. You can be casual. You’re super casual. Anyway, it’s not like you called him 300 times.” (I called him on Saturday with the intention of cancelling plans because he took so long (mind games, sheesh) but I got his brother/roommate who said he was gone and gave him a message) “You called him once. Today is Sunday. Today is the day. Your girlfriends are giving you the wrong advice. I bet YOU he’s waiting for your call”
So I call computer guy, get his voice mail and say something like “Just wanted to see if we still had plans, if not, give me a heads up so I can make other plans. PAYCE!” (Okay, I didn’t say peace. I didn’t want him to be homified just yet)
Then Wilbur says “You want to see my apartment?” to show me where he put the portraits I let him borrow for a while (I gave him a Diego Rivera, a Picasso, a Salvador Dali and something else. I forget) so I park and oops, let my phone in the car. At this point, I don’t care. I’m tired of waiting for calls
Side note. Okay, I semi-waiting for calls. I did go out on Thursday, Friday and Saturday to make me keep my mind off of waiting for phone calls from Mike. However, I knew that I was going on to keep myself busy knowing I was not waiting for phone calls which means in essence, I was really waiting for phone calls. Whatever. I just wanted to sound all busy and like I had this BIG life if he called. Of couse, that facade never got to be played.*
So, I stay for a bit, I leave and of COURSE, Mike has called and left a message apologizing profusely that he has not contacted me because he has been swamped with work. Automatically, my forgiving nature gives in (this, I am told, could be a fault) and says Okay, I’ll give him another chance. I call him back, get his voice mail. Leave a message.
He calls back at 2pm, wants to “hang out” around fiveish. Grab some dinner. Do something afterwards. Will call me around 4ish. He has a computer job to do (yes, he gets called on weekends apparently) He thinks he will be done by 4 ready by 5.
Calls back at 4:30. Is taking a little longer than usual. Thinks he’ll be ready to go at 7:30 p.m. Will call me around 6 p.m. so he can get directions etc etc. Is he blowing me off slowly instead in one swift band-aid blow? We shall see.
It is 5:40.. he says it is taking too long and he does not want for me to wait. He tells me to make other plans.
So, how does a guy show he is even interested in you and is not bullshitting? This is how:
Me: Sigh
Him: I’m so sorry. It’s just it’s taking so much longer than I anticipated
Me: No, it’s okay. I’m just tired.
Him: Well, I still really want to hang out with you and I really want to get to know you.
Me: Okay…
Him: So, would it still be okay if we can have dinner sometime this week?
Me: I don’t know, I go to the gym everyday and I just joined the softball team, and my dinner on Thursday.
Him: I can still take you out to dinner after the gym if that’s okay.
Me: Well, I’ll be done by 7p.m. It might be too late
Him: No, that’s okay. I mean, if that’s okay with you. I will pick you up at your house. What’s your address?
Me: YOu’re going to MapQuest it or somethign
Him: Yes.
Me: Oh, all right. Tuesday night?
Him: Yes. I will call you at work on Tuesday and we will go out on Tuesday night.
Me: You know, the place you take me better be good (uh-oh threatening him)
Him: Don’t worry about it.
Soooo.
I don’t know if I’m not reading guy correctly or something…but it STILL seems he’s interested and just got swamped. The thing is, I know my girlfriends would be like, “WHAT? You gave in too easily” or something of that nature. But here’s the thing:
1. I like to make lists (this is not one of the reasons)
2. He called me several times today to keep me apprised of his status. He didn’t have to do that and I respect his conscientiousness.
3. He is responsible. He had to do computer shit. This I can understand.
4. He’s a computer guy. People go crazy (especially companies) when their server or computer is down..he has to go out there or the peeps can’t function. I can understand this fact.
5. He said “I still want to really get to know you” and “Is it still okay if I can take you out to dinner” No fluff. He was direct and said what he wanted. I like that. Guys need to be more direct that way.
So, I forgive him for driving me crazy. And he’s still really cute and really nice and funny. That’s just something I can’t throw away just yet. YET.
Whose ball is in whose court?
Minimal Effort 