This is probably the longest survey I have seen. I like filling them out.
I used to like filling out applications when I was looking for a job to work on my penmanship but now I hate it. However, because I filled out so many applications when I was younger (I’ve had…hmmm…lots of part-time jobs when I was younger) I memorized my driver’s license, my social security number, all of my friend’s addresses (Well, most of ’em. I actually write in references of people’s addresses I’ve memorized not necessarily people who would be good references)
All right, I’ve decided to start the survey series. This is the first survey. The next couple of surveys will be from people who a) read this journal or b) just had cool surveys.
If you are the former and you do not want your survey up here, please tell me so I can tell everyone how lame you are.
Okay, that was mean. I don’t know what happened to me. I used to be a nice person… okay, I digress…I present to you the first survey in the survey series:
*Name: Sharon [middle name edited for content] Mayo
*Nicknames: I think my name is too short for a nickname.
*Birthday: July 18
*School: Graduated NYU…the most expensive school on the planet. However, I was in the film program and was ALWAYS surrounded by hot guys. whew! California is such a disappointment nowadays.
*Location: San Diego
*E-mail: It is based after my favorite song by the master himself (next to Burt Bacharach), Ben Folds
*Color of eyes: brown
*Hair: It is purple now and I just got it cut. I’m one step away from being bald.
*Shoe Size: You know, I’ve always thought shoe size and hand size had to do with a guy’s package. My theory has been proven wrong. (So guys with small hands, don’t worry, you’re good)
*Brothers/Sisters: Jasmine and Lester
*Who lives with you: I don’t know. I just live here
*When is your bedtime?: Usually around midnight. I do have bouts of insomnia however. The actor commentary on any dvd usually knocks me out. I prefer Lord of the Rings and listening to Elijah, Dominic..et al talk about TIG and imagine I am playing that made up game. I should make up a game..I digress
B A S I C Q U E S T I O N S
[love is]: an overused word
[if i could see one person right now]: I wouldn’t need my glasses. Did I read that wrong? Oh…a name? Hmm… Chris Rock doing new stand up. (If I had a boyfriend, it would probably be him. However, he does not exist in nature..but I think that would be the typical answer…”my wonderful boyfriend” Fuck that. Chris Rock doing stand up. Or a private concert with Ben Folds. Can I have two requests?)
[im afraid of]: being in a dead end job that has nothing to do with film and having my film degree go to waste. Being pretentious and finding out all my friends don’t think very highly of me.
[i dream about]: having a stable of men at my whim. Actually, I take that back. Having ONE man who has the energy of a stable of men. hee hee
[actually seen ur crush naked]: my crush? I don’t think…oh never mind. yes.
[been in love]: does it count if the dude was not in love with you?
[cried when someone died]: when I heard the news yes. At the funeral? Never.
[drank alcohol]: and stared at the volleyball. “Where’s your commitment Sharon?” “Was I supposed to hit it? I thought it was good if it went outside of the line” “Not if we’re the ones hitting it” “Oh…I’m DRUNK!”
[lied]: in order to manipulate.
[coke or pepsi]: DIET COKE
[flowers or candy]: Neither. think of something different. Sheesh. (My flowers died that’s why.)
——————HAVE YOU EVER——————
*Ever been so drunk you black out: no! let’s do it!
*Missed school Bus: Yes. Damn you NYU. The first time I had to catch a cab and pay $5.00 to get to class.
*Put a body part on fire for amusement: Would you think less of me if I said yes? (I wanted to see exactly HOW hot it was. However, I was stuck in a car and I had to wait for my mom to come back from the shopping mall. What if I died? I just didn’t have a index fingerprint for a month)
*Car Accident: I think I should count the days I WASN’T in an accident.
*Been hurt emotionally: NO! I’m invincible! I like having people hurt me on purpose. Gives me drama to talk about.
*Kept a secret from everyone: Until I was 21. I NEVER LEARNED TO READ!!!
*Had an imaginary friend: Even my imaginary friends rejected me. He said I was too sarcastic.
*Wanted to hook up with a friend: hells yeah!
*Cried during a Movie: yes. I nearly drowned myself when Macaulay Culkin was attacked from bees. I was sobbing so hard (which resulted in hiccuping) when Anna Chlumsky was screaming that Macaulay Culkin wanted to be an acrobat. Sheesh. It still makes me sad.
*Had a crush on a teacher: Yeah. Gary Winick. He’s a hottie. ALL the girls were in that class for that guy. (and there were like 5 girls in film school)
*Ever thought an animated character was hot: Roger Rabbit. Probably because he made me laugh.
*Had a New Kids on the Block tape: Hells yeah. But it was when they weren’t cool anymore. I’m always playing catch up. I think everyone had moved on to Keith Sweat.
*Been on stage: Yes. I love making a fool of myself.
*Cut your hair: And how.
*Been sarcastic: Okay, here’s the deal. I personally don’t think sarcastic but all my friends say I’m one of the most sarcastic person they know. Which means a) they don’t know ANY sarcastic people thereby making my level sarcasm a much higher level that the standard b) my voice must need adjusting in tone. I think I sound sincere but they say I sound sarcastic. Even when I’m being really sincere they ask if I”m being sarcastic. I’m not being sarcastic now. (okay, maybe I am. No I’m not)
W I T H T H E O P P O S I T E S E X . . .
[what do u notice first?]: seriously, breath. Bad breath man are always screaming. If the person is far away, this is so shallow, but hair. I once knew this guy who was pretty cool and I liked him a bunch. He got his hair cut and all of a sudden he was HOT! all because of a hair cut.
[last person u slow danced with]: I seriously don’t know. People, I didn’t get my first kiss till I was 21!
[worst thing to say]: But you’re pretty! (after a rejection)
[scruff or clean shaven]: Oh god. I love clean shaven guys (watch Paul Walker in Joy Ride. That’s is one sexy mofo) However, I saw this show on MTV called High School Conspiracies and Pranks and these 12 guys superglued all of the classroom locks and let loose a bunch of bees. They were attractive but after watching that special and the guts it took for them to do that made me want to sleep with all of them. They were all clean shaven but had the bad boy thing about them. That’s the best. I like seemingly overacheiving guys who like to cause trouble. It’s a fantastic aphrodisiac.
(I once raped a guy because he screamed at a customer for being rude when we were both working at Starbucks)
[tall or short]: I love tall guys…around 5’10, 5’11 but I always seem to end up dating guys who are barely taller than me. Good thing I’m not a big heels wearer.
*Soap: oh man, Irish Spring. I want to eat that soap sometimes.
*Day/Night: that’s a tough one.
*Summer/winter: How about fall?
*Lace or satin: Satin sheets are the BEST. (at the rate I’m going, I will probably never seem them again)
*Cartoon Character: Julie from THE MAXX
*Fave salad: Caesar (not tossed please)
*Fave Movie: Don’t even start with me on this one. Today it will be You CAn Count on Me.
*Fave Ice Cream: Cookies and Cream. Now I’m hungry. goddamnit.
*Fave Subject: Film
*Fave Person to talk to online: Kerbang. He makes me laugh.
W H O . . .
[makes u laugh the most?]: The most? Jennifer Derilo. Although Steve is right up there. My sister is a close third.
[makes you smile]: my sister
[gives u a funny feeling when u see them]: A funny feeling? Like diaherria? I suppose my friend Chad but I haven’t seen him in months. I suppose its more awkwardness that “funny”
[has a crush on u?]: not me.
[easier to talk to: boys or girls?]: boys definitely. Less judgmental by nature.
*Wearing: a look of indifference
*Hair is: not in my face.
*I’m feeling: hungry
*Eating: my words
*Drinking: the fountain of unwitty banter
*Thinkin bout: what to do with my life
*Listening to: my bladder
*Talking to: myself.
*Watching: my life leaving me one minute at a time
sidenote: man, this is longer than I thought!
D O Y O U E V E R . . .
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. u?]: What?! Okay, okay, I did it last year but it was only at work. And he was super cute.
[save aol/aim conversations]: I used to in college but I got bitter and erased all of them (they were of course from guys who I was dating at the time)
[cried because of someone saying something to u]: huh? are you asking what they said? Well, I once had a guy tell me “you are not the one” I think he should’ve just shot me. It would’ve been less painful. I’m going to use it a movie one day, so it’s a good thing he did it. It’s sort of funny now (note to self: write down for stand up comedy routine)
——————IN THE LAST 24 HRS——————
*Cried: I’m weeping inside
*Worn a skirt: because I was doing laundry.
*Met someone New: yup
*Cleaned your room: why clean your room when you can spend 10 hours filling out this survey (was that sarcasm? was my asking that question ‘was that sarcasm’ sarcasm?)
*Drove a car: HELLO! I live in California! (Hi Sharon)
H A V E Y O U E V E R . . .
[fallen for ur best friend]: it wasn’t fun. He is not my best friend anymore
[been rejected]: I think I hold the world record
[rejected someone]: I’m a terrible person.
[used someone]: He used me first!!
[been cheated on]: Now, this is hypothetical, but if I was the “other woman” would that mean when he went to his girlfriend that he was “cheating” on me? Especially if I was aware of this? Remember, this is hypothetical
[done something u regret]: nah. being humiliated is good writing material
—————DO YOU BELIEVE IN——————
*Yourself: sometimes. I think sometimes I overcompensate by being pretentious to hide the fact that I doubt myself.
*Your friends: some of them.
*Santa Claus: Is he supposed to be Jesus? I’m confused.
*Tooth Fairy: I never got shit for losing my teeth.
*Angels: Yeah. Hi Christian
*Ghosts: Supposedly I was possessed once and it scared the crap of my family. So, I guess I have to, eh?
*UFO’s: I think my friend Wilbur is one (ha ha ha)
*God: Is he supposed to be Jesus? I’m confused.
W H O W A S T H E L A S T P E R S O N . . .
[u talked to]: my friend Karen
[hugged]: Wilbur, but that’s just how we say “later loser”
[u instant messaged]: John from a couple of nights ago.
[u laughed with]: Wallaine. I think I said something about chicken sandwiches.
Sheesh. this is sooo long!!
——————FRIENDS AND LIFE——————
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Why are you trying to depress me? I have never had a boyfriend. I”ve only had FTF or better known as F&$ buddies. I can’t seem to figure out the relationship equation.
*Like anyone?: I only hang out with people I like. Even if I like them in small doses. I have a pretty good tolerance level.
*Who have you known the longest of your friends: Jirrah, since birth.
*Who’s the loudest: that’s hard because usually I’m the loud one. Probably Kay when we’re arguing about Sean William Scott or Sean Scott (she saw DIARY three times! His name is Sean Scott goddamnit!)
*Who’s the shyest: hmmm…. Angela? but she’s not shy, she just knows who she wants to be friends with. She has standards (unlike me I guess.)
*Who’s the weirdest: usually I’m the weirdest but..it would probably be a tie between my friends Cooper and Wilbur. They’re both really weird cats.
*Who do you go to for advice: by default, my co-workers. That’s because I see them everyday. But usually, my friend Angela or Cooper. Michael Baker when he’s available.
*Who do you cry with: if the corner of my bedroom was a person, it would be with that guy. Crying in a fetal position is the best. I also like the staring in the mirror and having one tear go down your cheek thing. Oh, and crying in the rain is great too. Always add “WHY GOD WHY????!!!!”
*Whats the best feeling in the world: laughing really hard with your close friends. Although the feeling that a boyfriend (or in my case, FTF) is thinking about you and tells you that he is thinking about you (and all the things he can’t wait to do to you). But, yeah, I could be sentimental schmuck. I just get really embarrassed.
*Worst Feeling: thinking that nobody cares about your sorry ass is pretty bad.
*Finish time: This took me ONE HOUR to do! And I can type fast!
H A V E Y O U / D O Y O U / A R E Y O U
[color your hair]: and how. (I”m running out of things to say here people)
[habla espanol]: no me gusta espanol.
[smoke]: unfortunately. and after a kickboxing class.
[obsessive]: I’m more paranoid than obsessive.
[could u live without the computer?]: The Matrix has me. Too bad. I’m too dependent.
[how many peeps are on ur buddylist?]: I have to count it? like 60 but I like talk to 5.
[what’s your favorite food?]: Key Lime Pie.
[whats ur favorite fruit?]: Is Key Lime a fruit? Or pumpkin? (I want a piece of pie right now)
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]:
Pain makes you feel alive (I don’t know the answer to this question) I think emotional because that shit lasts over a couple of months whereas physical pain can last days. But I work for workers comp so physical pain can also last years. I don’t know. I haven’t had kids yet. I’ll tell you then.
[trust others way too easily?]: yeah. Learned my lesson. Trust No-One says X-Files. (Every now and then I’ll let one slip through the cracks ) But seriously, it takes a lot to earn my trust. But once you’ve got it though, you’ve got it for life.
F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S . . .
[i want]: a good boyfriend
[i wish]: I was a famous and critically acclaimed writer/director/filmmaker
[i miss]: the feeling of a person next to me who just rocked my world. Sigh. I think I’ve reached my quota guys. My virginity is growing back.
[i fear]: being a failure.
[i hear]: my bed calling my name
[i wonder]: if I’ll ever get married and name my kid Bob like I keep telling people I will.
Sheesh. this was long.