I love that elton john song
I just had thought. I suppose I’ve grown up a little bit. I was thinking about the past today and how the last guy I “was with” taught me about another fact of life you always hear about but never really learn till it actually happens.
Also, the irony of it all is that, when we first “got together” (whatever that means) he told me one of the essential things in life is to have your heart broken and I was like “damn, that sucks”..who would’ve thought that task would be appointed to him (he is a ring bearer. Okay, I am terrible. I love that movie!!) but the person to tell me about it would be the person to teach me about it.
So what does it mean?
As far as I know, it just made me go through the process of learning to be by myself again and how it feels so good to be alone. I remember who I used to be, I didn’t have to answer to anyone, I could do as I like, and I could spend all my money on myself (not really though) but on the flip side, it is cool to have somebody who will be there for you, who will support you, to be that emotional support system and I suppose (even though it is obvious) being too much one side of the spectrum is not healthy and the best way is to have a happy medium. Not like SUPER independent that I’m like “Fuck, I need NOONE!” and super clingy where “I am not anyone without that person.” I’m sure this is an obvious lesson but I think you have to live it for it to really absorb in your system and to believe it.
So I suppose I’m at that point where I’ve accepted that he does not need me in his life anymore but just to be a part of it was pretty cool. and if I never talk to him again, I least I’ve had the experience to know that I have the capacity to care that deeply for someone and I am not an empty person.
BUT it doesn’t mean that if he were to have a girlfriend tomorrow, I’d be WHOO-HOO! I’d be like, damn. but as of now, thinking of the times I had with him doesn’t hurt and that is a good place to be at.
Anyway, I found out from our aforementioned telephone conversation that “oops” he reads this online journal. That is sharon’s profound life thought for the week.
In other news
I am still, for the record, in love with Lord of the Rings and after watching those documentaries, MY GOD, I would go out with those hobbits. THEY ARE SEXY!!! Orlando Bloom (aka legolas) is hella sexy with the wig. As my friend alfred would say, “I guess you have a wig fetish” only with that guy for some bizarre reason.
btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALFRED!! He is now the big 24
Anyway, I’ve been on the computer way too long. my eyes are about to explode. that is what happens when you conversate with people on a saturday night (especially on the west coast and they have insomnia) hee hee hee.
Christopher Cross kicks major ass (yeah, he did that song about the moon and new york city)
p.p.p.s I ABSOLUTELY LOVE christmas songs. Unfortunately, I absolutely love the city in this season and I’m stuck in california with 70 degree weather, where there are no seasons. I want to see orange, red, and yellow trees. I GUESS these palm trees will have to do. and sniff, no snow.
but I guess I’ll get presents this year yo. (I haven’t gotten presents because I’ve spent it alone..sigh)
Top Five Christmas Songs
- Silver Bells
- My Favorite Things (Ok, this is TECHNICALLY not a christmas song but it’s prevalence during the season counts as on in my book)
- Anything in the Nutcracker Suite
- Little Drummer Boy (Especially the Jars of Clay version)
- Sleigh Ride (giddy up, giddy up, giddy up let’s go…let’s play in the snow.) that’s a catchy ass song.
I just get so jolly around this time (other than the non-boyfriend status but then again, I’ve never had one around this time, so it’s doesn’t matter too much, actually)
More jolly banter on my next entry.